Comments about PostSecret (Note: content may be triggering)

PostSecret is a community art project where people anonymously mail their secrets on a homemade postcard. They've been organized into several books. In one book, the dust jacket reads, "You are invited to anonymously contribute a secret to a group art project. Your secret can be a regret, fear, betrayal, desire, confession, or childhood humiliation. Reveal anything - as long as it is true and you have never shared it with anyone before. Be brief. Be legible. Be creative."

I'm not sure why I thought about PostSecret the other day. But I did. Anyway, I browsed the web to take a look at a few. Some are sad. Some are funny. Some are poignant. Some are frightening. They come from people who appear to come many walks of life; all ages. A multitude of experiences. And many, many, many, many, did I say many? Many arrive to talk about eating disorders. 

Some come from the Eating Disorder itself, translating its language, it's purpose. 

Some come from the Eating Disorder's glorification of anorexia, its (and our culture's) misguided belief that restriction is control, and its terror of being "out of control."

Some come from Denial, protecting yet preventing an individual from facing his/her Eating Disorder.

Some come to confess that eating disorders exist behind fear, lies, and the pressure to appear fine.

Some come from people who want to make basic statements about living a life with an eating disorder. They insinuate the eating disorder's shame and hopelessness.

 

 

Some come from an Eating Disorder's awareness of its unchallenged narcissism.

Some come from the eating disorder's fear of recovery.

(Note: the EATING DISORDER'S FEAR of recovery) 

 

Some come from the Person's fear of eating disorder recovery.

Some come from desperation, as though to say: this is the last time, I swear...

Some come to speak about a lack of resources.

Some come from pica...or unspecified and other specified eating and feeding disorders.

 

Some come from sharing random acts of compassion towards individuals who struggle with eating disorder behaviors.

Some come from a dry awareness of the physical results of eating disorder behaviors.

I've found two that come from a recovered voice.

Listen, almost all of these Postsecrets are not very recovery oriented in content. But regardless of their make-up, they are recovery oriented in process because they are opening a conversation about the shame, fear, anger, and grief that underly the eating disorder. Many people who suffer from an eating disorder will be able to relate to a few (perhaps many) of these Postsecrets. The people who wrote them allowed themselves to be vulnerable enough to be honest. I'll admit, they were conditionally vulnerable. No one knows who these secrets are attached to. Nevertheless, they are being honest about their awareness of where they are. I challege you to be honest. Tell someone what your eating disorder is saying. Tell someone what your eating disorder is thinking. You may not know how to help you, but especially in the beginning, the process of talking about feeling helpless, ashamed, etc. is the most honest and self-compassionate thing that you can really do.

Secrets fertilize the soil where eating disorders flourish. 

So, this tid bit is more a message to those entering the process of recovery, but it's relevant for everyone:

Tell on yourself.

Your eating disorder lives and breathes in the little things that you think don't matter.

Tell on yourself.

You need external perspectives in order to feel related to, validated, and challenged in the process.
 
Tell on yourself for tuning out during that meal because it was easier to get through. Tell on yourself for skipping a snack. 

And tell on your eating disorder, because even though it only talks to you, it needs to be offered up to a team who can empower you to save yourself.